you and me

so i found my old diaries way, way back 2005 and read a lot of things...mostly about my long time "friend" whom i had fallen for.

my entries of him were all happy, exciting, sometimes naughty moments. as i flip on every page i realize that i have fallen madly in love for him during those years. i write each and every moment that i had with him: from our first hellos, classes together, misadventures from our engg subjects, food trips, cutting classes to watch movies, jeepney rides...

*sighs*

sadly, nothing became of us. 
even as i type these things right now, we don't contact or even drop each other a hi anymore. 
we became so distant from each other without even knowing the reason why.

why we ended up like this.

but maybe, i'm thankful to have such wonderful memories of him. 
thank you chris joaquin.

thank you for the memories.

M (me): nakakamiss siya. sana makita ko siya ngayon. kahit sulyap lang ayos na...pambawi lang sa kamalasan ng buhay ko
F (friend): magkikita din kayo
*after a few minutes*
M: omg
*sees him walking towards of me*

- his hand placed over my shoulder casually while he's having a conversation with his friends
- my leg would suddenly go numb, then he will find it out...then he'll go mad and play with my numb leg
- sem ender: he suddenly wrapped his arms around me and read his question out loud while we were still in that position...
- nov 6 '06 enrollment: i arrived at the tambayan looking very tired and down. he was there too. i sat one side and just listened to other people's conversation. then i realized he was making fun of me already. i laughed and at the same time, clobbered him for his outtakes. he finally said, "pinapatawa lang naman kita...ang lungkot mo kasi."
- he is a known "kuripot" when it comes to text messages, and for him to send quotes (sweet and thoughtful ones) to me should have meant something
- food and movies together...just the two of us
- cheese corn by the waiting shed
- sharing an umbrella under a hard downpour
- he calls me "mama bear" as a pet name
- he takes a lot of candid shots of me using his cellphone

so many memories... so many wasted opportunities to say,
"i love you"