perle_rouge: (jaebed)
now i know what my role is in this family: EA. Everybody's Alalay.

parents recently bought a dslr and they're asking me to learn it. what for? to have me as the go-to person when there's a problem with it. i'm 100% sure that the person who's going to benefit from the dslr is my sister >.< she's definitely going to hoard it to flaunt it to her friends. her arguement: she has more important events to capture than my experiences with my friends. 

but wait. there's more. she's going to have her cheerdance competition on saturday and she's "kind enough" to ask me to be the photographer/videoman. i was surprised at first, coz i was invited to dinner by my friend who was celebrating his birthday. yes, i was ready to turn down my sister for it. but then she began ranting like i don't have the right to choose that over her competition. and that i promised her to attend her competition.

all this time, i've been letting her have her own way, not nagging about her choices in life anymore. and now, something that i want to enjoy for myself and i'm fucking deprived? 

when will it be my happiness then? 
when?

LAGI NA LANG PARA SA KANILA.
perle_rouge: (jaebed)
THESIS PROPOSAL SUBMISSION:

APRIL 19 




FUCK THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 
perle_rouge: (jaebed)
in all honesty, i don't care if i'm delayed, long delayed from my graduation. 

i just want to do this with all my heart and with my own capabilities... 
but you just wouldn't let me. 

you would keep on forcing me your own values
and try to shove it in my face that 
YOU HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS. 

well, sorry if i'm such a big disgrace to your long running record of being perfect. 

you ask me why i don't say anything about what's happening in my life... 
the reason is pretty simple:

because you'll always find something wrong about everything that i do with my life. 

oh yeah, because I'M NOT MATURE ENOUGH FOR YOU. 

not now. not ever. 

break me.

Jan. 7th, 2011 08:11 am
perle_rouge: (jaebed)
of course you wouldn't understand. you would never understand. 
or in the worst case, YOU DON'T LIKE TO UNDERSTAND.

yes, i might sound ridiculous but THIS IS MY LIFE and you can't take it away from me. 
you might know what's good for me, but i doubt you know what's best.

not anymore. 

why is it that the only passion you have for life has to be taken away from you? 

why?
perle_rouge: (jaebed)
so yeah, i'm in my few laps of college. i'm just left with this sem and a summer then i'll be able to graduate already. it sounds so reachable already...but unfortunately i have to go through fucking hell first and back. my summer will be composed of the second part of practicum AND thesis. 

FUCK THESIS. 

actually i have the option to just take my thesis during the first semester of the next school year but parents what me to graduate asap so that i can finally work and help them with the bills.

well, sorry for taking so much of my time in college mom and dad. sorry if i'm a doomed failure as an offspring to you that i stayed in college for 6 years. sorry if i have to shift to a lot of courses before i finally found where i really belong to. sorry for discovering my talent as a writer and a graphic artist which takes a lot of my time from my studies. sorry if i did not became the daughter you wanted me to be.

and now you want me to hurry up my thesis? 
how easy it is for you to say that. so damn easy. 

why don't you do my thesis for me then?

great. just fucking great.
FML.


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