perle_rouge: (Default)
so i'm back writing again here. and from where i left off... well, good thing it was a positive one.

on to the next chapter of my life i guess.

THE WORKING DUDE ARC. haha.

when i arrived from the US after a month of vacation, i immediately applied for a job at ABSCBN as a catalog writer. luckily, i got the job after 3 excruciating exams and a full house panel interview. thank God i landed a job! these few days I've been working on the pre-employment stuff: SSS, TIN, police clearance, medical etc. and i'll be working full-time on august 1. until then, my life is still on vacation mode. well, technically.

the family has been undergoing a lot of problems lately and i don't want to delve into those things anymore. the thing is, due to these problems, every action of mine is greatly affected. i can't really go out. i can't enjoy life as much as i can. pretty depressing and frustrating at the same time. i have to make an excuse to go out though.

I NEED TO GO OUT AND SEE THE WORLD AGAIN.
perle_rouge: (jaebed)
now i know what my role is in this family: EA. Everybody's Alalay.

parents recently bought a dslr and they're asking me to learn it. what for? to have me as the go-to person when there's a problem with it. i'm 100% sure that the person who's going to benefit from the dslr is my sister >.< she's definitely going to hoard it to flaunt it to her friends. her arguement: she has more important events to capture than my experiences with my friends. 

but wait. there's more. she's going to have her cheerdance competition on saturday and she's "kind enough" to ask me to be the photographer/videoman. i was surprised at first, coz i was invited to dinner by my friend who was celebrating his birthday. yes, i was ready to turn down my sister for it. but then she began ranting like i don't have the right to choose that over her competition. and that i promised her to attend her competition.

all this time, i've been letting her have her own way, not nagging about her choices in life anymore. and now, something that i want to enjoy for myself and i'm fucking deprived? 

when will it be my happiness then? 
when?

LAGI NA LANG PARA SA KANILA.
perle_rouge: (jaebed)
it's so hard trying to fulfill manly duties in our household.

you can’t blame me if i’m the boyish type of girl.

i have to be tough.
i have to be protective.
i have to endure the emotional stress happening.
i have to be rough.
i have to survive.


i have to.

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perle_rouge

February 2015

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