perle_rouge: (jaebed)
in all honesty, i don't care if i'm delayed, long delayed from my graduation. 

i just want to do this with all my heart and with my own capabilities... 
but you just wouldn't let me. 

you would keep on forcing me your own values
and try to shove it in my face that 

well, sorry if i'm such a big disgrace to your long running record of being perfect. 

you ask me why i don't say anything about what's happening in my life... 
the reason is pretty simple:

because you'll always find something wrong about everything that i do with my life. 

oh yeah, because I'M NOT MATURE ENOUGH FOR YOU. 

not now. not ever. 
perle_rouge: (jaebed)
i was able to hang out with my first daughter, gielyn, for half the day.
i accompanied her to UST to claim the california maki she ordered then went back immediately to UP. 
she asked if i wanted to tag along with her in chocolate kiss with her blockmates for lunch. being the thick-skinned that i am, i said i was okay with it. ^^ 

so there i was, observing their small group quietly as i indulge on my dayap chiffon cake when it suddenly hit me. 
this scene right in front of me was all too familiar. 
then i laughed at myself for not getting it the first time. 

same place. same time. 
same gestures. same touches. 

it's like that certain part of my life was staged into a drama and 
had it played in front of me just for the sake of bitterness.

you remind me of a guy that i once knew.
perle_rouge: (jaebed)
this would be my last reminiscing of him. after this, i'll forget everything. 
i promise. 

perle_rouge: (mingeek)
it's been a while since i had my spider senses tingling. hahaha

it kinda sucks though, i'm good at sensing other people's vibes
but i can't sense my own.

i have always been in my 'numb' situation for the past 5 years of
trying to feel my significant other half.


will we ever cross each other's paths?
perle_rouge: (jaebed)
 i don't know why but Fate suddenly bitched at me. 

why do i have to see him? 

it's the last day before Christmas break and we had to meet paths >.< 
like do we really had to??? 

we haven't had a decent contact with each other for centuries (ok that's exaggerating)
and then he suddenly pops into my life like a mushroom? 

guh >.< 

forgetting something you’re supposed to remember is nothing 
compared to remembering something you’re supposed to forget


perle_rouge: (jaebed)
so yeah, i'm in my few laps of college. i'm just left with this sem and a summer then i'll be able to graduate already. it sounds so reachable already...but unfortunately i have to go through fucking hell first and back. my summer will be composed of the second part of practicum AND thesis. 


actually i have the option to just take my thesis during the first semester of the next school year but parents what me to graduate asap so that i can finally work and help them with the bills.

well, sorry for taking so much of my time in college mom and dad. sorry if i'm a doomed failure as an offspring to you that i stayed in college for 6 years. sorry if i have to shift to a lot of courses before i finally found where i really belong to. sorry for discovering my talent as a writer and a graphic artist which takes a lot of my time from my studies. sorry if i did not became the daughter you wanted me to be.

and now you want me to hurry up my thesis? 
how easy it is for you to say that. so damn easy. 

why don't you do my thesis for me then?

great. just fucking great.


perle_rouge: (Default)

February 2015

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